New Order sang about one without ever
explaining what one was.
Whatever one is, I don’t think I’ve
ever had one.
First up, is establishing what is being
talked about. Is it a “Bizarre Love” Triangle, or a Bizarre “Love
Triangle”.
The latter is easy to explain. Back in
the mid 1980s “Love Triangles” were sex toys bought by those who
had been mutilated in horrible accidents or attack by wild animals
and could no longer achieve sexual pleasure through more linear
devices. The Bizarre one in question was presumably seen in Affleck’s
Palace in Manchester by a member of the band or their management, and
was a custom made triangle studded with rubies and crystallised fish
eyes for extra pleasure.
That deals with that. A “Bizarre
Love” Triangle involves three couples who have intercourse with
each other in a complex series of rituals designed to give birth to a
mildly satanic creature with magical powers. Five of the group sit at
each point of a pentacle in a place charged with power where ley
lines meet, while the 6th, always a woman, stands at the
centre of the pentacle naked and chanting the words of power that
will enable the process to succeed.
At a given signal, a diviner inspects
the six with his rod, and the rod indicates which two should have sex
in order to produce the devil’s progeny. It doesn’t matter if two
women or two men are involved in the final act, because the spells
cast have charged all of their bodily fluids with procreative force,
and all internal cavities with the ability to nurture an embryo.
Exactly one year later, the satanic
child is born, and grows rapidly. Within a year, it is fully grown,
and capable or wreaking evil upon the land.
Copyright Bloody
Mulberry 18/11/13
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