Saturday, 23 November 2013

The Footballing Pacifier


Today, as a group of folk sat in the canteen at work lightly watching the Grand Prix qualifying, or quietly reading, or staring into the middle distance with a look of lobotomised despair, some of the usual overweight and unpleasantly sweaty subjects came in and took control of the remote control.

“Mind if we put the football on?” they asked with a redundant question mark. They were going to whether we screamed in protest or not.

The football in question wasn't even a football match, as such. It was watching three people watching football matches that you aren't allowed to see, while and endless string of numbers, letters, and non-existent place names in Scotland scrolled down the screen at the bottom, and staid static on the left.

This screen, which looked like a really messy “Frames” style website from 1997, enthralled this bunch of guys who collectively were less attractive than Masterblaster from Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome, and also worse company.

All I could think about, as more people told more things about footballing men we couldn't see, was that these men, who are just about if not a bit below the fabled “living wage” were sat watching, and discussing, the activities of a bunch of men who earn seventy thousand pounds a week.

Men who in a few years will earn more in five years than they will earn in lifetimes.

And are they angry? Are they shouting, cursing, launching an uprising, storming the Bastille? Are heads rolling in blood soaked streets. Are there hell!

Football gives these guys something to talk about and something to live for where otherwise, there would be nothing. Rather than make them mad at the who spewing iniquity about the whole thing, they shell out chunks of their low wages to watch them, willing sponsors of their pacification.

Juvenal. Panem et Circenses. Keep the hoi polloi amused and distracted, and make them pay for the pleasure. For while the little men on the screen kick a round thing around, and there little eyes lap it up and fill up their heads with it, they will not be kicking down the gates of the palace, or doing anything at all that might actually improve their lives.

And I suppose it gives them a sense of community, of belonging, that I have never had, so perhaps they are the ones who are correct.

Copyright Bloody Mulberry 23/11/13

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