Friday, 25 April 2014

Tsar Bomba – How I Met Kuzkina Mat


I was a writer. I was a dissident. A refusenik. An uncooperative.

They sent me away to the East, to mosquito tormented summers, and freezing winters, and there I became a killer as well. I came back from a day's forced labour to find a guard trying to sodmise my friend in our barracks. I stove in the back of his head with a shovel so hard his brains came out of his mouth.

After I was beaten nearly to death in a punishment cell, it took some time for the authorities to debate whether I was to be executed or not. While the maggots set too in my wounds, ironically saving my life as the ate out infected flesh that I had no hot tea spoon to cautheterise, a train was summoned to take me North. No such line was supposed to exist here. No matter, it did.

Further North, all the trees disappeared and the ground was hard permaforst. I was thrown down onto this concrete grass, and rifle butted onto a boat of low quality, yet full of important looking officials. They removed my shirt, at fingertips to avoid any lice. They then took readings, ran a strange clicking instrument on me, then attached monitors to my chest and head. They never looked in my eyes, with their red starred caps and epaulettes.

We soon arrived at an island, an island filling the horizon, and rising a fair way above it, but devoid of no other features at all. We got closer. It had no trees. No life. Black ground and vulcanised glass for some reason unknown to me.

Then the guard said the only two words that were spoken to me all journey.

“Novyaa Zemlya.”

It was done with a humourless smile.

I was ungracefully clubbed onto a makeshift jetty, and shivering cold struck me as hard as the rifle butts. A vehicle awaited, again unmarked, and drove uphill onto the frozen plateau of the island that a low sun taunted with hollow warmth. After an hour of an ever unchanging scene, a low tower came into view, and beside it a metal pole. Humiliatingly, a metal chain was attached to my neck, and I was led from the vehicle to the pole, where the chain was affixed. Another humourless guard looked me at last in the eye, and spoke as he lit a cigarette then spat on the ground.

“Kuzkina Mat.” - “Now you will meet Mat's mother.”

Whatever could this mean?

A scientist checked me over one last time, and then all got back into the vehicle which then drove back the way it came, emitting harsh sounds and thick pollutants.

Hours passed, the sun circled a horizon it would never set beneath at these latitudes this tim of year. Why I didn't pass from exposure I don't know, the extra coat they gave me was not up to the task. My breath sank to the ground crystallised.

An aeroplane was overhead. I hadn't heard it in the wind shrieking across the barren uplands. From its pregnant belly something dropped, something huge and black, floating gently earthwards on a parachute of mothly silk. It came closer, slow as a first kiss. And then, it became as a second sun.

The world went white, like an endless photographic flash. I was frozen, and I was hotter than could be imagined. The earth shook shortly afterwards, I saw it ripple like waves in the sea I swear, in negative. The air blew itself away, there was nothing to breathe.

And yet I was still alive.

Now flames came, flames of a rich orange beauty I had never seen before. Down they came from the sky, nearer and nearer, yet not nearer. They only got so close.

In the distance, low wood and concrete structures slowly, and then slower, collapsed like a tower of cards made by a sickly child. The blast came lower and lower, but it never reached me. I could all but touch it, taste it. My shadow was burnt away, but I was unaffected.

The buildings stopped collapsing, and just hung there, wreckage suspended in nothing but time. The flames did the same...they came to touching distance and stopped.

Far away, the sea was a lake of lava. Steam arose, things were still happening far away, but here, on this wasteland, all had come to a stop. A seagull was devoid of motion, half incinerated.

And that is how it has remained ever since. Whatever time means now. I have written this tale on the ground, etched in the frost with a stick, that only a sharp eyed god might see. For you to read this, you must be one of the Valhalans, and I salute you Sir.

As you should salute me. For how many have survived the strike of Thor's Hammer?

Kuzkina Mat.

Copyright Bloody Mulberry 25.04.14

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