When you have a head full of knowledge,
can you fill it with any more?
I’m writing in a panic. I’m
panicking because I’m being unproductive. I thought the way to
become productive again would be to write about panicking about
unproductive. There is so much in the world I want to know about. Is
it an OCD, Tourette or more Apsergic trait? I don’t know.
I’m also in a panic because I don’t
know how to make use of the knowledge I have in a way that could
actually make my life better – the more I know, the more it upsets
me that I’m not doing anything with it. The knowledge I’ve gained
in my life seems more and more useless, as my days fill with moving
boxes for very little money, and my nights fill with frustration.
There is a lot I can give to the world,
rather than freak show displays of tics in the street and a
non-ending stream of cynicism. I write, but I’m giving myself away
for free to very few people. Sometimes that seems like a very good
idea mind you, the thought of being a latter day Emperor Norton
appeals very much, throwing ideas around in the open air like the
philosophers outside the Library of Alexandria. But I don’t want to
live in poverty either!
I will keep throwing myself against the
wall until I stick.
Copyright Bloody
Mulberry 26/10/2013
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