What Are Hooples?
The
warp probe sent out to Tau Ceti found the first signs of extra solar
life on the fourth planet of the Tau Ceti system. The 11th
dimensional transmitter sent back instantaneous pictures of a lush,
green world ripe with oceans of water and a temperate climate. The
temperature was clement, and the presence of oxygen in the atmosphere
was an absolute giveaway.
Life
was present. But what kind of life could not be ascertained by this
single rapid flyby.
Another
mission was commisioned, this time with an automatic lander shaped
like a bedstead with a couple of eleventh dimensional imagers upon
it. Tau Ceti 2 was launched from the Geo-Synchronous ring under ion
drive, until it reached beyond the orbit of mars and engaged the
gravitational warping propulsion which caused the probe to surf Space
Time on a series of waves. It reached the star system in barely two
weeks, and sent back quantum entangled messages instantly saying it
had arrived and would it be alright to deploy the lander thank you
very much?
The
message was returned in the affirmative, and the lander was deployed.
It rode an atmsophere rich in oxygen and inonised neon that made
everything glow blue-green, and settled on a small island in the
middle of a purple sea of freshwater heavily laced in iodine.
Within
seconds, the camera registered curious lifeforms, rounded creatures
covered in thick curly brown fur, with dark black eyes showing
through the upper half of the body. Short arms and legs with six
fingered hands were used as with humans, and the mouth was small and
“H” shaped and rather hard and horny looking, as if it was used
for eating crustaceans. They regarded the camera with an unfrightened
interest, and tapped out a musical rhythym on the titanium surface of
the lander.
“My
god!” cried one of the mission controllers. “They look like Ian
Hunter of Mott the Hoople!” and it was unanimously decided that our
first ever stellar neighbours should be known as Hooples.
Ah the
joy and hope of those naieve times. Little did we know what peril
these inoffensive looking Hooples would pose to the Earth, and how
devastating their first ever “tour” would prove just as soon as
they mastered the eleventh dimension warping technology we had
delivered to thier doorstep.
Copyright Bloody Mulberry 08/03//13
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