Friday, 23 May 2014

The Broken Poet Repair Shop


Your poet is stuck on a stanza. Locked in a hexameter. Beaten by a beat, fingers blistered on a pencil. Stuck in a loop, endlessly repeating the words “Desolate...Desolation...” over and over again.

Think your poet is fit only for lyrical landfill? Thing again!

The all new custom “Wordy-smith Poet Poet Chop Shop” can get your poet rhapsodising again in less than a day with our new express service. We can remove writers block, stammering, excessive posing and a tendency to poet-ise to impress women while-u-wait, using parts ethically sourced from renewable sources.

No longer will your poet falter during your fancy dinner party recital of TS Eliot, and ever more will your curator of similical beauty trip up over his tongue in a Wordsworth. And your friends will love you too, as the hardrive on your newly upgraded poet can have many extra gigabytes of poetry installed, so no more will there be awkward pauses during your crucial literary dinner party with an English Literature student you would like to get to know better.

In case your poet turns out to be beyond economical repair, we can dispose of it humanely for you, and discuss some great deals we have on brand new dada-ist and avant garde models custom made just for you!

Only at “Wordy-smith Poet Poet Chop Shop”! Your bard, is our business.

Copyright Bloody Mulberry 23.05.14

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