Angels to Some, Demons to Others

There are other kinds of Lament Configuration puzzle box in this world.

We only see the ones that open a gateway to Hell, where you meet “Explorers, in the outer reaches of experience” with unpleasant bodily modifications, who promise to tear your soul apart if you are found to have been lying to them.

The Cenobites.

However, other boxes, when solved, open portals to the heavenly dimensions, and here you meet the denizens thereof, the Angelic Cenobites. Here, there are no cruel hooks and chains to quarter your writhing body with, but rather entities dressed in a mixture of goose down and supersoft Cushelle lavatory paper. One offers you an infinite supply of kittens conjured out of thin air. Another smiles beatifically out of a face made of rose petals smothered in Ambrosia and Nectar.

There is a heavenly equivalent of the Butterball Cenobite, but this one is fat because he is so utterly bursting with love. All have eyes of violet with starshine behind them, nails and wire are in short supply. As soon as you make their acquaintance, they follow you everywhere, singing songs of great beauty and showering you with praise, gently kissing your neck and proffering you lambs to pet.

The infinite light of God is shining in the background, and as the path to heavenly praise glows brighter and brighter, and the love of the Cenobites grows greater and more cloying, you reach desperately for the other puzzle box in your pocket.

For being torn apart by rusty chains is infinitely preferable to this endless angelic gloop.

Copyright Bloody Mulberry 03/09/13

STORY - What Are Hooples?

Copyright Bloody Mulberry 08/03/2013

What Are Hooples?

The warp probe sent out to Tau Ceti found the first signs of extra solar life on the fourth planet of the Tau Ceti system. The 11^th dimensional transmitter sent back instantaneous pictures of a lush, green world ripe with oceans of water and a temperate climate. The temperature was clement, and the presence of oxygen in the atmosphere was an absolute giveaway.

Life was present. But what kind of life could not be ascertained by this single rapid flyby.

Another mission was commisioned, this time with an automatic lander shaped like a bedstead with a couple of eleventh dimensional imagers upon it. Tau Ceti 2 was launched from the Geo-Synchronous ring under ion drive, until it reached beyond the orbit of mars and engaged the gravitational warping propulsion which caused the probe to surf Space Time on a series of waves. It reached the star system in barely two weeks, and sent back quantum entangled messages instantly saying it had arrived and would it be alright to deploy the lander thank you very much?

The message was returned in the affirmative, and the lander was deployed. It rode an atmsophere rich in oxygen and inonised neon that made everything glow blue-green, and settled on a small island in the middle of a purple sea of freshwater heavily laced in iodine.

Within seconds, the camera registered curious lifeforms, rounded creatures covered in thick curly brown fur, with dark black eyes showing through the upper half of the body. Short arms and legs with six fingered hands were used as with humans, and the mouth was small and “H” shaped and rather hard and horny looking, as if it was used for eating crustaceans. They regarded the camera with an unfrightened interest, and tapped out a musical rhythym on the titanium surface of the lander.

“My god!” cried one of the mission controllers. “They look like Ian Hunter of Mott the Hoople!” and it was unanimously decided that our first ever stellar neighbours should be known as Hooples.

Ah the joy and hope of those naieve times. Little did we know what peril these inoffensive looking Hooples would pose to the Earth, and how devastating their first ever “tour” would prove just as soon as they mastered the eleventh dimension warping technology we had delivered to thier doorstep.

Copyright Bloody Mulberry 08/03//13

STORY - To the Centre, Rosas!

Instant story written at the library, inspired by the music of Steve Reich and the dancing of Anna Terese de Keersmaecker

Copyright Bloody Mulberry 04/10/2012