Wednesday 20 June 2012

In Two Thousand One and Three a Cenobite I Should Turn to Be

Copyright Bloody Mulberry 20/06/2012


ndeed, I shall leave it a year. Watching the Olympics in a low key fashion might be rather difficult with nail and cheese wire impediments.

And then, in 2013, two thousand one and three, I shall seek out the Lament Configuration Puzzle Box and run inquisitive fingers over it's strange symbolic engravings, as the sky greys to black and sinisters coloured bolts of energy course along its structure.

And then, shall meddling open the box, and I will taken away from here, taken away from a world of drudgery and tedium, low paid humilation at the hand of low-bred in-breds, and taken to a world where “Pain and Pleasure are Combined”. My skin flayed, nails hacked out and my blood replaced by an agonising preserving re-animating fluid, full of parasites to perpetually stimulate the evil centre of my brain and eat away at the good.

And in a year, pvc clad and looking rather different of face and denture, I shall return and Lo! Shall all my life's irritants shall feel rusty chains rip through their plebeian flesh! But although, Cenobitically enhanced I may be, the more louche aspects of my ensavaged personality remain – and I shall drink Cuba Libras and Caparinhas with one hand, smoke Sobranie with the other into lungs pulled apart by rusty wire; all while kicking an enemy in the face with a spined boot, piercing cheek flesh again and again and again.

And then I shall listen to the Velvet Underground and crank out chirpy bon-mots such as “Your sole...my pleasure” and “The road of pain is a less travelled one, but as you can see the journey is worth it” to some dotty American 19 year old who repeatedly refuses to tell their arse from their elbow.

And I shall attract acolytes, and followers ignorant of the true extent of my powers, and so shall statues be made of me. Worship me if you will, but remember to always quake in fear.

My boots trample the still quivering dead. Is my life so far gone that this future seems preferable to anything else. I shall tell you later.

In two thousand one and three.

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