Wednesday, 1 April 2015

Who Will do the First Striptease in Space?

We live in a world now where such things as lap dances have becom regarded as a common, low brow, peasanty-footballer viewing pursuit, and burlesque, although still an exotic pursuit, is something that can safely be discussed on 7pm chat shows and other mass media.

Nudity for pleasure on Earth is just sooooo over.

Other frontiers are of course available. Despite the recent Spaceship 2 accident, the race for leisure trips into space goes on unabated. Soon it won't just be the preserve of serious types with degrees in aeronautics, “The Man in the Street” - as a Tory councillor type patronised me the other day – will be up there too.

And where there is leisure, there is pleasure.

Up until now, as far as is known, being naked in space has been a purely practical exercise for the purpose of showering in a pretty unromatic bag of water droplets. To live permanently in space, one would think there must be breeding in space and there have been rumours that on one military shuttle missions, experiments into the practicalities of weightless sex were carried out. Results unknown.

Newton's third law will be a real headache for sex “up there”.

One would think however that shameless exhibition would be a lot easier, and I reckon it will happen a lot sooner that you think. I'm surprised that no-one was hired a so called “vomit comet” for adult movie production purposes, but I guarantee you that pretty early on in the space tourism industry, one of the major adult production houses will hire an entire flight of Virgin Galactic or their equivalent, and even if “fluidic exchanges” may be banned on grounds of risk of short circuit, stripping off should be no problem for folk of any sex.


It will be filmed, streamed, and sold. I give it seven years, tops, before it happens.

Copyright Bloody Mulberry 01.04.15